The Guardian runs a piece by Jonathan Raban alleging that America is awash with wild conspiracy theories because the Bush administration is so secretive. I have no idea whether America is awash with conspiracy theories, but Raban's evidence is best described as comical.
Dinnertime is the hour of the conspiracy theory here in Seattle. I've lost count of the times I've been told - always on excellent, but unnameable authority - that Osama bin Laden is already in American hands and that the Bush administration is waiting for the right moment to announce his capture. Ronald Reagan's body was on ice for many months, and his death was only announced when it became necessary to drive Abu Ghraib off the front page. Everybody knows, or thinks they know, that the administration will manipulate the intricate bells and whistles of homeland security to ensure the president's re-election. If terrorists don't strike in the run-up to November 2 (as most people assume they will) the level of alert will be jigged up to red, arrests will be made, the country will be declared saved from an evil plot and mass casualties, and Bush will storm past Kerry in the polls.
Seattle was full of nut case lefties back when I lived there in the late 70s and early 80s, and it is worse now.
Next comes the New Republic bit.
My informant tells me that a senior Pakistani general, recently on a visit to DC, said: "If we don't find these guys by the election, they're going to stick this whole nuclear mess up our asshole."
Much the most interesting thing about this last story is the character of my informant - not, as usual, Jack talking from the barbecue pit, but the sober and conservative New Republic, a magazine fiercely pro-Israel, which enthusiastically supported the invasion of Iraq. A respected senior editor, John B Judis, is one of the three authors of the July Surprise? piece in the July 19 issue.
Now I have a tiny bit of sympathy for leftists who get the "even the liberal New Republic believes . . ." line, because it has been an odd magazine on the left for some time. But it is still a magazine of the left. While it is not as left as the Nation, it is nearly as ferocious as the Nation in its hatred of Bush. And among its staff, Judis is one of the most left wing. Granted, Judis's SDS days are clearly behind him. But to call the New Republic "sober and conservative" and then to try to pass off Judis as an example of it, is simply bizarre.
But Raban's finale moves into self-parody.
This is an extraordinary moment in American history. Half the country - including all the people I know best - believes it is trembling on the very lip of outright tyranny, while the other half believes that only the Bush administration stands between it and national collapse into atheism, socialism, black helicopters, and gay marriage. November 2 looms as a date of dreadful consequence. A bumper sticker, popular among the sort of people I hang out with, reads: Bush-Cheney '04 - The Last Vote You'll Ever Have To Cast. That's funny, but it belongs to the genre of humour in which the laugh is likely to die in your throat - and none of the people who sport the sticker on their cars are smiling. They are too busy airing conspiracy theories, which may or may not turn out to be theories.
This "oh woe, we may never have another election" stuff has been a staple of the left for years. I remember how popular it was during the Nixon years, pre-Watergate and Agnew resignation, to say that Agnew would be elected in 1976 and 1980, and then in 1984, he would cancel elections and take power. 1984. Get it? I know more than a few right wingers, none of whom seriously believes a Kerry presidency would be the end of the world. Awful Jimmy Carter type stuff and surely the most boring State of the Union ever (not really on the latter, but George Akerlof deserves to be made fun of), but hardly the end of the world. And I know more than a few left wingers who wail about the Patriot Act, but still go to the library with no apparent trembling.Posted by sjostrom on July 21, 2004 07:40 AM
